Our Inner Dialogs Part II

Fast forward almost one year from this post ... I've had a baby and have dedicated a lot of time to running and continued to spend hours on a yoga mat since my Quin has been born.  I feel like becoming a mother has transformed me into a different kind of runner and paired with my new found yoga mind, I feel like I am in such a better mental place.  Physical?  We're getting there.  That's a whole different post. ;)

My half marathon in April in the Outer Banks was incredible.  I felt such a good, strong, consistent pace throughout the entire race.  My mommy muscles (as I now like to refer to them as) slowly began to fail halfway through and from mile 7 on, putting one step in front of the other continued to require more and more effort.

Before Quin, before yoga, it would have been very easy for me to look at the 6.1 miles ahead and feel so discouraged knowing that my body was different postpartum and much weaker.  It would have been so easy to anticipate the pain and the extra effort that the last half of this race would require.  But now, with a new mind set, I was able just to be at mile 7 and enjoy mile 7 for what mile 7 was.  To acknowledge that my inner dialog was there ("Wow, 6 miles to go, I am so tired.  Will I make it?  That finish line sounds soooooo good right now.  That summer break I've scheduled for running season is looking soooooo good right now.") and then to let it pass.  I loved that mile 7 more than I've ever loved a mile 7 and then 8, and then 9 and then 10.  I was in the moment, listened to my body and enjoyed just being.  Being in nature, being a momma, being weaker, being stronger, and being a runner.  And then, the finish line arrived and I was happy.  So, so happy.  While the race wasn't my fastest, or wasn't my strongest, it was one of the most enjoyable races I have ever run.  Accepting who I was in that moment, for those 13.1 miles made me feel whole.