running in my mind

I haven't run in, oh, 15 weeks. I know, because I stopped running at 20 weeks pregnant. It wasn't comfortable. I would hurt after every run. I was done.

And then came the heat. This oven in my belly made me despise summer. I am always uncomfortably warm, so the only time to exercise is the early morning. I'm also tired, so getting up in the morning has been difficult. I can't meet up with anyone for a morning run, so I haven't had any peer pressure to get up and exercise.

But this morning brought everything back. After waking up to lightning and thunder during the night, I noticed a beautiful sky full of clouds this morning. A cool breeze came in the window. The ground showed signs of a light sprinkle. I looked at the clock: 7:50am.

I tried to do a quick calculation of who might still be out on the Steven's Creek Trail. Julianne was planning to run 8 sometime after 8am, but where? Maren and Sarah were running 10, but never said when or where they were starting. Kaylynn and Lindsey started sometime between 6 and 7 and were running 4-5 miles. They would be have finished long ago. Rachel, April, and Shayla were starting around 7 and all running various distances. Even if I jumped out of bed and drove to the trail, my chances of walking until I ran into some of my runner friends was looking pretty slim.

But I was craving it. I wanted to be out on the trail like everyone else. Even though I can't run, I can walk (more or less). I decided I would just tell my pubic bone to deal with it. Sometimes it's worth the pain. You really couldn't have asked for a more perfect morning. But I stayed in bed.

Later, as I was folding laundry, I heard a quiet tapping noise. I looked outside and realized it had started to rain. A light rain, but big drops. I immediately dropped what I was doing, threw on some clothes and shoes, grabbed an umbrella, and booked it out the door. I walked around the neighborhood for almost an hour.

And then it all came back to me--getting up to run during the winter. Cold mornings. Frozen fingers, watching our breath, moaning and groaning (and giggling) to each other about whose idea it was to run that early on such a cold morning. Warming up after a mile. Commenting after 5 miles how perfect the weather was.

I miss it. Being outside, breezing through easy runs, pushing through hard runs, chatting with friends, training for races.

Can't wait to get back out there...